Jan. 12th, 2020 02:55 am

Lil Goals

nukawhit: (Default)
 My writing goal this year is to allow myself to be happy with what I create. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just post it. 

I'm also venturing out into other fandoms and I think that's helping my anxieties a lot; the FO fandom still Scares me and finding fresh canon to gnaw on has been a lot of fun. 
 
I also enjoy writing. A lot. A lot a lot. I enjoy writing long, rambly things rooted deep in character voice/perceptions because that's what I enjoy writing. And I miss posting fic. So GOD, whit, just do it already. 

I've also really been enjoying it as an escape from IRL stuff. I started with a new psychologist for my pain rehab, and it really put into focus how much of myself I've lost to this health shit. I don't want to be in this headspace where I pick apart to the point I've convinced myself my Fic Is Awful! Don't bother! I don't want to be like that anymore. 

So that's my goal.  
nukawhit: (Default)

Bethesda is shilling out the fallout license to literally anything now and apparently there’s a fallout: online kinda deal that’s using Fallout Shelter’s engine, BUT the plot is based on Fo4? It uses all the same characters & set in the same year? 

But anyway the art is very pretty but if you’re an older woman in the fallout ‘verse apparently you are Not Allowed to Be Old.

I mean, Dr. Madison Li is 60 years old in Fallout 4. And she looks like this! I fucking can’t.


I would laugh if it wasn't so stupid. Let women be old. Let them have (1) wrinkle. A single strand of grey hair. Something. 

The men's artwork is what you would expect -- an accurate depiction of their fo4 model -- yet this? This ain't it, chief. 

nukawhit: (Default)
I just finished Control.

It is such a good game. SUCH A GOOD GAME. How did I hear nothing about it?

After years of being invested in open world games, playing a game with a strong narrative driven experience has been so refreshing. And it's good. The writing is good, the characters are good, the environment so distinct. It's like if Portal/Half-Life, Prey and X-Files had a baby, and that baby also had solid writing, and also that baby had telekinesis.

Read more... )
nukawhit: (Default)
 Bethesda just introduced a paid sub service to have the privilege of hosting a private Fo76 server.

For $100 a year / 12.99 a month

On top of the $60 you payed up front.

And the $18 a piece power-armor recolors, the $5 'time savers' (why are time savers gated behind a paywall??? In other fallout games you could just... craft them...?).

The game is still broken. Performance is as you would expect an online Fallout game to be w/the current engine. (Not Good.)

Oh, and the content you want -- NPCs -- is delayed. 

(But you get some NCR combat armor! Which proves they could've done NV tie ins to all their games all this time!!! Also fuck the lore!) 

I can't believe what Bethesda is doing with the Fallout license. It's making me actively .. dislike Fallout. And be disappointed. And sad. And that takes A LOT. We could've gotten another spin-off title and we got this instead. 
 

nukawhit: (Default)
I wanted to start doing WIP wednesday, but I keep missing wednesday, so I'm just gonna do it now! And then do it on wednesdays! Maybe!

Anyway, I'm plodding away at some Catherine/Madison because that's what my heart wants right now, and here is a very rough snip of Madison getting ready:

Read more... )
nukawhit: (Default)
I had to scribble some Preston/Madison dialogue bc I had a thought of oh no what if Madison gets jumped by coursers in a settlement and Preston unequivocally tries to sacrifice himself (under the guise of 'It's just what the minutemen do, ma'am!!!, when in actuality it's the diminished sense of self-preservation he alludes to in his dialogue) and Madison sees right though it and they bond over survivor's guilt and losing people and and and AAAAND

(I yelled at choco abt this but I'm copy/pasting here to also make a note of how much i love the dynamic thank u choco for introducing me to the concept ;_;)
nukawhit: (Default)
I've had a really stressful past couple days and just I'm Not In the Right Headspace to work on my body horror WIP so I'm just blubbering catherine/madison feels into a gdoc to de-stress. It's helping. Bethesda really gotta stop teasing with this creation club stuff (which, apparently, the DC revisit won't have any voice acting or returning voice actors, so, rip that I guess), because it's been enough to plunge me deep back into Fallout 3 feelings. In part about the aforementioned Catherine/Madison, but especially about Catherine.

Read more... )
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I made a post wondering what the Capital Wasteland would be like in 2287... and now we're getting a creation club DLC where we get to go to GNR.



Ooof.
 
It's making me super nostalgic, even if I'm nervous about the quality.
 
Just gimme lore. Looooore.
nukawhit: (Default)
It's Friday night and YES I am writing about how the Brotherhood of Steel obviously gained huge delusions of grandeur after defeating the Enclave to evolve from the Secret Bunker Babes in Lost Hills to announcing their arrival in the Commonwealth, over speaker phone, in HUGE FUCKING AIRSHIP. 

Like. I am writing fic, but I also have Thoughts. A mess of thoughts bc I am tried and incoherent, but Thoughts all the same.

I am forever thinking about what the Capital Wasteland is like in 2287. How do the Brotherhood handle control of the Purifier? Do they give water in exchange for allegiance to the Brotherhood? Do they conscript settlers to build their numbers? Do they threaten settlements for resources like they do in FO4?

We know they savaged the Pitt -- known as the 'Scourge', and that ranking officers in the Brotherhood were taken from there:

...Owyn Lyons led the Scourge, a large-scale military action that wiped out nearly the entire population of The Pitt. In a single night, the Brotherhood swept through the city, eliminating any resident who put up a fight. Although the intent of the Scourge remains unclear, several unmutated children were taken from The Pitt easily by the Brotherhood and placed into initiate training...

Also what the fuck that is so bad.
 
Read more... )
 
nukawhit: (Default)

I've been thinking about what makes me happy a lot recently.

Tumblr fandom ain't it. Not anymore. Read more... )
nukawhit: (Default)
(This was a toot on Masto that got out of hand so decided to post it here instead. Apologises in advance, this is a mess of feelings and it's very late and I'm very tired and achy. :')) 

Never not gonna be :/ at how the Brotherhood essentially pillaged Rivet City to scrounge any last scrap of Dr. Li's work (Rivet City's reactor) to further their expansion to the Commonwealth in lieu of 'the greater good'. 
 
like FUCK she would never go back to them? ever? 
 
She put years of her life into sustaining the most advanced scientific settlement in the Captiol Wasteland (and the only place producing rad-free crops) only for them to level it to juice up their murderbot. And they still can't fix it, even after stripping Rivet City's reactor and having access to 30 years of her work between RC and Project Purity. 

They still need her. But they'll never admit it. Instead they'll lie to her, they'll still play on her goodwill and then they'll threaten her, intimidate her when she ultimately finds out she's been duped. Then she's left in a corner of the airship like an expended tool, like that's a charity when the whole ship thinks she's a traitor regardless. I don't know how anyone can think the FO4's BoS (and even 3's, late-game anyway), can be seen as the universal 'good guys' when they do shit like this. 

As much as I hate siding with the Institute for obvious reasons, I can't tell you how cathartic it is to watch Madison finally fix Liberty Prime, only to send him berserk and singled-handedly raze the Brotherhood to the ground with an excessive, exceptional show of force.

A whole goddamn army against one woman. 

That's the Madison Li you wanted, right? You never wanted her growing crops in Rivet City, or cleaning water in the Jefferson Memorial, even if that's what she wanted to do. 

You wanted her the same way she was after the Enclave mercilessly slaughtered her assistant, after they kidnapped her colleague and after the ferals in the tunnels picked off the rest of her team. You wanted that Madison again, the one you've only seen a glimpse of, when she fixed Prime the first time for you and you waltzed right on through the Enclave's defenses like it was nothing. You lied to her then too, of course, saying Prime was only for defending the Memorial when you had him anywhere but. 

You wanted her cornered, out of options. And you wanted her angry. 

Well, you got her. 

I'm always gonna be gnawing on this regarding her character development

*also in an ideal scenario Ingram & Hayden wouldn't be there bc I love them. also after siding with the Institute you could install Madison as leader and she just stops the whole synth-slavery thing because fuck you

nukawhit: (Default)
Hey I'm going to try using this journal thing! So naturally I shall break it in with a meme. :')

As always, I'm forever rolling around in FO3/FO4 feels!



A: Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

B: A pairing – platonic, romantic or sexual – that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

C: A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

D: What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom?

E: Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what?

F: What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it?

G: What was your first fandom?

H: Do you prefer live action TV shows or animated TV shows?

I: Has online caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

J: Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over the internet.

K: What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

L: Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves.

M: Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

N: Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of?

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Q: A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

R: Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

S: Show us an example of your personal headcanon.

T: Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

U: Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

V: Which character do you relate to most?

W: A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

X: A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Y: What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Z: Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

Meme provided by [personal profile] dictionarywrites via [community profile] journalmemes.
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